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The current year represents a full decade since the term “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is interested or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band many young men likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {